Aries – Can you repair the hole you punched in the wall?
Taurus- Go find your Leo, clean your room, and treat yourself.
Gemini – You’re so two-faced…at least make one of them pretty.
Cancer – Cry about it if you haven’t started already.
Leo – You’re gonna have a great day, sexy!
Virgo – Its not that serious. Calm down please. Hope you had a good birthday!
Libra – Happy Halloween to all my libra girls, guys watch your back and happy birthday.
Scorpio – Go return those devious licks. NOW!!!!
Sagittarius – Check cancer for your horoscope.
Capricorn – I don’t care enough about you to know. Sorry, maybe next time.
Aquarius – You should be a water sign, but other than that, you’ll have a terrible week…or not. Astrology isn’t real.
Pisces women – You need to stop crying. You’re almost as bad as cancers.
Pisces men- If astrology isn’t real, why do you act like that?